Dreaming tearaways
Mood:  lazy
Topic: Does crime pay?
I went for a walk after tea to clear my head. Round through the Acklam Woods and past the duck pond. I had some old bread for the ducks. They seemed to have gone to bed so I ended up scattering and leaving it.

There were two young boys with their bikes sitting by the pond. I got into conversation with them. I'd say these boys were about 15 but they looked younger - they were quite small for their age. They told me they were there because they liked looking at birds. They had binoculars (though not with them). I asked if they liked flowers too - Nah!! I told them about a stoat I'd seen at Devil's Bridge, not far away.

We got to talking about school. They were having a couple of days off (teacher training). Exams? GCSE's were on the horizon. Careers? The larger boy said he was thinking of bricklaying. Ah, the construction industry, I said.

This wasn't what he wanted to do with his life though. What he really wanted to do was to travel round the world taking photographs. And I wondered, will he ever do that? I'd grasped that he wasn't an "academic". Will his life-choices be fewer? The other boy said that he'd like to do engineering. He said he was good at anything scientific. So, maybe he'll do that, but I don't know.

The larger boy mentioned his teacher, she was always giving him rows over bringing cigarettes into school. Well, you should really do that sort of thing in your own time, I said virtuously. Not in school. Oh, I don't smoke them in school, he said innocently, I just sell them. And I thought, my I've got a right one here.

I started going on about the bad things about smoking. Bad for your health, it makes your clothes smell, your girlfriends mightn't like it, it's not sexy - it's for losers, and about the money they could save by not smoking. In a friendly way.

What they could spend their money on instead. Holidays, going somewhere on their bikes. Maybe they could save up for a motor-bike even. At this point, the larger one said, "Me, I used to steal cars". Then in tones of adult wisdom, "Give it up though".

I wonder where these boys' lives will take them to. Travelling round the world taking photography, and being an engineer. Or goodness knows what. This larger boy will drift into prison on the route that he's hovering beside. Sometimes you just wonder.

Spring comes late to Farndale
Spring has arrived in the Tees Valley. In the farm fields spring lambs gambol and skip. In the woods the snowdrops have given way to masses of bright, bold daffodils. Celandines are in flower and the first nodding heads of the wood anemones have poked through and gradually unfurl.

So I had high hopes for Farndale, my little piece of heaven on earth. Yesterday the Moorsbus service started - about 10 days earlier than normal because of the early Easter. I got off at Hutton-le-Hole and drank a leisurely pot of tea as I looked out over the green. It wasn't quite the best of days - a mist shrouded the hilltops and it was overcast. But at least it was dry and good for walking.

Eventually I headed for the Daffodil Shuttle - the minibus that ferries all the daffodil enthusiasts during the daffodil season. The mini-bus was full - those at the end of the queue had to wait till the next one, a quarter of an hour later. The car park was full to bursting point. In the seats behind me I could hear a mother talking to her children. It was a small family - parents and a small boy and girl. The mother (she sounded like a teacher) earnestly pointed out sheep, and heather and bracken, and "over there's a pheasant". Perhaps they weren't familiar with the countryside. I felt sorry for the poor little mites - they were quite obviously being "educated". As usual I was excited to see the now-familiar hills of Farndale on either side of me. The mist covered their tops and the colours were the softest of pastels.

At Low Mill I stepped out and sniffed the air. Ah! Good to be back. I set off determinedly through the small wooden gate that leads to the start of the River Dove. Along by the river I looked round for the daffies. Where were they? Around me, hikers looked round in similar bemusement. We were a few days too early. Spring comes late here up on the North York Moors. The upland areas have heavy snow, and the lack of shelter probably means biting winds. Along the riverside several fallen trees testified to a harsh winter. There WERE daffies in bloom, but few in number. Most were still to come, their green leaves not even in bud yet. Round me hikers were murmering, "Fine day! But where are the daffies? Oh no, we're too early! I'll just have to return in a fortnight or so." It was a shame - most people just looked on sadly and vowed to return.

Eventually I caught up with the family from the minibus. They were sat on the one and only bench while the mother unwrapped their picnic. The little boy now caused a diversion - he had got stuck up a tree. Only a couple of feet up though! Dad soon gave him a hand down. I stopped to talk to them for a few minutes. As I suspected they were not local but up here on holiday - the parents seemed to have a full week of acivities (mostly educational and avoiding arcades etc) lined up. I suggested a day trip to Whitby and a ride on the steam engine from Pickering.

I was sad that there so few daffodils, but vowed to return a litte later. There was plenty to enjoy though. A few bunches of snowdrops still gleamed white through the grasses. And at eye-height bunches of lambs-tails shook in the breeze. The real lambs were themselves still non-existent. Even the hardy black-faced Swaledales postpone their lambing till the spring warmth has come.

I walked on and finally reached Church Houses, where I enjoyed a slow lunch at the Feversham Arms. It was packed! This is an old and atmospheric pub with beams and horse brasses and views down the dale. Wonderful! I treated myself to a glass of wine with my meal.

Eventually I waddled back down the path by the River Dove. It was colder now and even mistier. Still enjoyable though. I enjoyed the sounds of the country - farm animals and moorland birds. A pheasant screeched and far away I could hear a curlew.

Eventually I reached Low Mills again and hopped on board the minibus for the return to Hutton-le-Hole. I still had some time to spare so I picked up another bus at Hutton-le-Hole and headed for Pickering. I browsed happily round an aniquarian bookstore till it was time
to go home.

Here's to the next outing to Farndale!!!

The Golden Fish
Topic: From Grimm's Fairy Tales
Tales from the Brothers Grimm
THE LITTLE GOLDEN FISH
Once upon a time...

a poor fisherman lived in a humble cottage near the sea. One day, he set off as usual with his load of nets to go fishing. "Don't you dare come home empty-handed!" shouted his nagging wife from the door.

Down on the shore, he had just thrown the nets into the sea, when something glittering in the meshes caught his eye.

"What a strange fish!" he said to himself, picking up a golden yellow fish. And his amazement grew when he heard the fish say these words:

"Kind fisherman, let me go free! I'm the son of the Sea King, and if you let me go, I'll grant any wish you care to make!" Alarmed at this miracle, without a second thought, the fisherman tossed the fish back into the water. But when he went home and told his wife what had happened she scolded him soundly:

"What! When the fish said your wishes could come true, you should have asked it for something! Go back to the beach and if you see it, ask for a new washtub! Just look at the state of ours!"

The poor man went back to the shore. As soon as he called the fish, it popped up from the water.

"Where you calling me? Here I am!" it said. The fisherman explained what his wife wanted, and the fish quickly replied:

"You were very good to me! Go home, and you'll see that your wish has come true!" Certain that his wife would be pleased, the fisherman hurried home. But the minute he opened the door, his wife screeched:

"So it really is a magic fish that you allowed to go free! Just look at that old washtub! It's brand new! But if that little fish has such powers, you can't possibly be content with such a miserable little wish! Go straight back and get it to give you a new house!"

The fisherman hurried back to the shore.

"I wonder if I'll see it again! I hope it hasn't gone away! Little fish! Little fish!" he began to call from the water's edge.

"Here I am! What do you want this time?" he heard it ask.

"Well, my wife would like . . ."

"I can imagine!" remarked the fish. "And what does she want now?"

"A big house!" murmured the fisherman, hesitantly.

"All right! You were kind to me and you shall have your wish!" The fisherman lingered on the way home, enjoying the feeling of making his wife happy with a new house. The roof of the splendid new house was already in sight, when his wife rushed up to him in a fury.

"Look here! Now that we know how really powerful this fish is, we can't be content with only a house! We must ask for more! Run back and ask for a real palace, not an ordinary house like this one! And fine clothes! And jewels too!" The fisherman was quite upset. However, he had been henpecked for so many years that he was unable to say "no", so he trudged back to the water's edge. Full of doubts, he called the little fish, but it was some time before it leapt from waves. In the meantime, the sea had begun to foam . . .

"I'm sorry to trouble you again, but my wife has had second thoughts, and she'd like a fine palace, and . . . and also. . ." Again the little fish granted fisherman his wishes, but he seemed less friendly than before. At last, relieved at having been able to see his wife's desires fulfilled, the good fisherman turned homewards. Home was now a magnificent palace. How wonderful it was! At the top of a flight of steps leading to the palace, stood his wife, dressed like a great lady and dripping with jewels, impatiently waiting for him.

"Go back and ask for . . ." But the fisherman broke in:

"What? Such a fine palace! We must be content with what we have! Don't you think that's asking too much? . . ."

"Go back, I said! Do as you're told! And ask the fish to make me an Empress!" The poor fisherman set off unhappily for the seashore. In the meantime, a storm had blown up. The sky was black and terrible flashes of lightning lit the darkness, while the waves crashed angrily on the beach. Kneeling on the rock amidst the spray, in a low voice the fisherman began to call the little fish. And when it came, he told it his wife's latest request. But this time, after listening in silence, the little golden fish disappeared beneath the waves without saying a word. And though the fisherman waited, the little fish never came back. A great flash of lightning, much brighter than all the others lit up the sky, and the fisherman saw that both the new house and the palace had vanished without trace. The humble old cottage stood where it had always been. But this time, his wife was waiting for him in tears.

"It serves you right! We should have been pleased with what we had, instead of always asking for more!" grumbled the fisherman angrily. But in the depths of his heart, he was glad that everything had gone back to normal.

Next day and every day, he went back to his fishing, but he never saw the little golden fish again.

More jaunts
Topic: Stockton, Nature's World
Had a good day out yesterday. Went to see a storyteller over at Stockton-on-Tees, called Chris Bostock. He was excellent! He had a great way with the children and was very funny. I talked to him afterwards. He was very helpful. He gave me some advice about getting started. Chris comes from Newcastle - we exchanged emails. He said he knows people from the Stockton area and might be able to put me in touch with them. I'm on his mailing list for when they do another training session - I've just missed one unfortunately. Sounds like a very good contact.

The librarian there was also quite helpful. I hope to do some voluntary work there eventually.

Went along to Nature's World this morning. Spring is coming, though it is still pretty cold. Came back by Bluebell Beck. Enjoyed seeing the snowdrops in the clearing, along with the daffodils.

Underneath it all though I am very stressed. This college I'm at obviously thinks I'm worthless. I hope I can get out before too long. Pay is dreadful - they are simply taking advantage of me.

A jaunt! A jaunt!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Whitby day out
Had a very pleasant day out in Whitby. Shame the weather wasn't better, but there you go. Overcast and cold, but at least it was dry.

Pottered around the quayside and looked in all the little shop windows. Walked along to the lighthouse on the West side. Had lunch at the Duke of York - crab baguette. Yummy! Looked round more of the shops before finding a new cafe, and had a crepe in the afternoon. Very nice too!!

It was such a relief to shake off the dust of Middlesbrough.

Picked up one of Gervase Phinn's books, the 4th in his series. I'd read it in a library book version, but was holding off buying it till the paperback came out. Then I saw it in hardback, and very much reduced. Yes!!!!! Great for relaxing with at bedtime!!!

Picked up the new timetable for the Moorsbus. Not long now till Farndale!!!

Fed up to the back teeth
Mood:  down
First there was the carry on over whether Sarah was doing an exam or wasn't doing one.

Then the admin people tried to withdraw two of my people. Spent the morning persuading them to retain them.

Then to really, really give me a bad day, Liz Maclaren has been allocated to another tutor, so I won't get any more work/pay that I was hoping for.

I'm busy looking up websites on storytelling.

Pottering along
Just a brief entry today.

My learner Sarah has now completed all the coursework that I have to mark. Good! Not so good is the fact that she has to sit an exam. I rang Karen earlier today and asked her. Got back from Riverside this evening and logged onto Hotmail. First thing I saw was an email from Sarah stating that she had been told that she could do all of the course online. She forwarded a copy of the email that vision2learn had sent her.

So, I'll have to forward her email to the college tomorrow. How irritating. How annoying for Sarah.

Rollercoaster ride
Up and down, and round and round.

Had a couple of good evenings out. On Thursday night I went over to the Arc, to see "Measure for Measure". An interesting play, but probably not my favourite Shakespeare. Good to broaden one's horizons though.

On Friday I went to see "Swan Lake". Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! The music, the costumes and sets, and the dancing. Out of this world! And how good to see a full house!

Work continues. It's had its up moments. I was pleased to see that Sarah was able to get through he two re-submissions. And Debra was very grateful, for the help that I'd given her.

It's not enough though. I'll try and settle down and complete Part 1 of the City & Guilds 7407 that I've started. After that I'll put most of my energies into starting a small business. Provisional title is "Diane Taylor Media Services". Freelancing - anything I can get my head around basically. Storytelling, writing, photography, after-dinner speeches, proof-reading and copy-editing, and indexing too. Just to generate an income of sorts. Maybe look at some crafts too - I fancy trying my hand at Photo-art. Unfortunately the camera that I want, the Canon 350D, won't be available till later in the year.

Not sure what I'll do about this distance learning tutoring. The sensible approach would be to keep it on while I learn my other skills. I wish I could start on my business right now, but I think I should finish my course at Riverside first.

I still feel incredibly tense. I long for spring. I need a day out in the country to clear my head and my lungs and re-invigorate me. Still, only another month till Farndale!!!

Sometimes things can go right
Mood:  happy
Topic: A warm glow feeling
Isn't it great when something goes right? One of my learners on First Steps made quite a mess of two email assessments. I didn't know whether she would be able to put them right or not. I had visions of her dropping out. Anyway, I put some effort into walking her through them (my notes will be used to help other learners doing these assessments in the future) and she got through her re-submissions. I'm very pleased about that.

She's a hard-working learner who is juggling bringing up her family with learning new skills. I sometimes chat to her with Instant Messenger. Tonight she told me, "Right, that's my children done their homework, now it's time for me to do mine."

She's reached the half-way stage in First Steps now. Sometimes, things can go right after all.

Snow, snow, snow
Mood:  blue
Topic: Life is difficult
We've got snow just now. Will have it for a few more days I think. Went out for an hour or so, yesterday to try and grab some photos. Sky was a bit too overcast though. Went over to the duck pond - the ducks looked really hungry, poor things. I tossed a loaf of bread over to them.

Had a better outing on Friday. Nipped up to Coulby Newham with my camera for an hour or two while the sun was shining brightly. Got a few photos.

Work continues as normal. Depressingly so. I've been in touch with some of the other tutors. As I was beginning to suspect, this no job for someone who needs to earn a living. It's only suitable for married women with a husband to support them, and retired people who have a pension coming in.

So, I'm really, really, really fed up. I'm going to have to find another job eventually and sooner rather than later. I'm very stressed about it.